Career Coach Insights: Stop Downplaying Your Professional Worth And Start Owning It!
Ladies, can we talk about something that's been on my heart lately?
Why is it SO difficult for us to brag about ourselves?
I see this so often with midlife women: Not OWNING exactly what makes them amazingly unique and wonderful. We downplay, minimize, give others more credit than is due...
And you know what? It breaks my heart every single time I see another brilliant woman diminishing her light.
Want to know something else? THIS IS ME too. Gosh, I can even feel some shame rise up just admitting this to you all. But it's true! I'm known for gushing over everyone else and all their greatness (which I LOVE to do) yet struggle to do this for myself. The disconnect is real, and I know many of you feel it too.
Here's a perfect example: I had some pretty exciting professional wins these past couple weeks... and yet, rather than acknowledging my own gifts and hard work that led to these wins, I found myself downplaying them with my own coach. If this were one of my friends, clients, or kids, I would be cheering down the hallway for them and acknowledging what makes them so amazing. So, why can't we do this for ourselves?
A Career Coach's Perspective on Self-Doubt
I'm sure there was unintended social programming while our generation was young... remember those phrases?
"Don't get a big head about it!"
"She's a little too big for her britches!"
"Who does she think she is?"
All well-intended to keep us grounded, I'm sure. Yet, here we find ourselves questioning whether it's okay to celebrate our wins when something great happens that we have every right to be proud of and share with others.
Think about it: How many times have you achieved something amazing, only to immediately downplay it? Maybe you landed a huge project and attributed it to "just being in the right place at the right time." Or received a promotion and said, "Oh, they probably couldn't find anyone else." Sound familiar? We've all been there, and it's time for this pattern to change.
Breaking the Pattern
Here are two crucial steps to start owning our worth:
Step 1: Celebrate others!
Let's cheer on each other when we have wins! There is absolutely no place for jealousy or the comparison game in a healthy, well-lived life. Women are rising to new heights in today's world and with good reason. Let's lift each other up and actually mean it!
When you see another woman succeed, celebrate her specifically and genuinely. Don't just say "congratulations" – tell her exactly what you admire about her achievement. What qualities did she demonstrate? What impact did she make? This not only lifts her up but helps all of us get more comfortable with acknowledging excellence.
Step 2: Cheer for YOURSELF!
Become your own cheerleader! I am giving you (and me!) permission right now to step up to the microphone and share your wins with others. Those people who are truly in your corner will be cheering you on as well, and they are the ones who matter.
And here's something crucial to remember: Owning your achievements isn't just about you – it's about creating a pathway for other women to do the same. When you downplay your success, you inadvertently signal to other women that they should do the same. But when you own your achievements proudly, you give others permission to do the same.
Making It a Daily Practice
When you accomplish something significant – whether landing a project, leading an initiative, or receiving recognition – take time to fully own that success. What specific actions did you take? What unique qualities did you bring to the table? How did your experience and wisdom contribute to the outcome?
Here's a pro tip: When you step up to that microphone, acknowledge WHAT IT IS ABOUT YOU that made this happen. Don't give credit to "luck" and certainly don't minimize it. Instead, fully own the amazingly wonderful part of YOU that led you there.
Start small if you need to:
Keep a "wins journal" where you document your achievements
Practice saying "thank you" instead of deflecting compliments
Share one win each week with someone you trust
Celebrate other women's successes openly and specifically
Notice when you start to minimize and consciously choose to own your success instead
Document the specific skills and qualities that contributed to your achievements
Don’t worry about being “too proud” or how other people may see you. Think about it... when you see another woman confidently owning her achievements, does it make you think less of her? Usually, it's quite the opposite – it's inspiring! Let’s make taking pride in ourselves the new normal, ladies!!
Creating a New Normal
Ladies, let's remember how much we have lived and experienced in our lifetimes... we have grown over the years and likely far beyond what we give ourselves credit for. We've navigated careers, relationships, maybe raised families, handled crises, and developed wisdom that only comes from lived experience. These aren't small things – they're powerful achievements that deserve to be acknowledged.
Let's put a stop to the minimizing and downplaying. Instead, let's step up to the microphone and share the pride we have for all we are and all we do! Every time you own your worth, you create a ripple effect that touches countless other women.
When we own our worth collectively, we create new standards where women's achievements are recognized, celebrated, and valued. This isn't just about us – it's about every woman who comes after us, looking for permission to shine. It's about changing the narrative for the next generation of women in the workplace.
Our generation of women has so much wisdom, experience, and talent to share. It's time we stopped hiding our light and started celebrating it. We've earned this right, and frankly, the world needs what we have to offer. Your unique combination of skills, experiences, and wisdom is valuable – and it's time to own that truth.
So here's my challenge to you (and myself!):
This week, share one achievement you're proud of without minimizing it. Own it fully. Celebrate it. And watch how this small act of courage inspires others to do the same.
Love on yourself AND each other, ladies – we absolutely deserve it!
I’m Dawn LaRae, and I help mid-life professional women gain clarity and confidence in their next career chapter so they can experience passion and purpose in their work.
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